Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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