The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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