The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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