hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
