Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Randomize
