Just fell off a train. Bad.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
