I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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