his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
