New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
