your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
