her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
