what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
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