so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
