can u get pink eye on your cock?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
