the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
