Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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