All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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