I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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