He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Randomize
