Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
