and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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