Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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