Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
