i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Randomize
