Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
