it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
