how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
