she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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