wanna go halves on a baby?
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
