So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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