grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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