I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
