Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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