I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
