If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
