He is an equal opportunity slut.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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