someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
He felt like a one man threesome
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
