I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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