Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
