I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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