can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
