Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
