What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
