My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
