I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
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