you would pick up someone in the library
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
