I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
