I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
