girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Randomize
