But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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