Whod you bang
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
