Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
now i know why i became what i already was.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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