hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I have feelings that need drinking.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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