I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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