WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Randomize
